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Promises Page 2
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Page 2
I touched Mandi’s neck and whispered softly to her, “It’s all right, girl. Everything’s all right.” I knew she understood me. Lilly had believed my ability to communicate with Mandi was one of my gifts showing itself early. I glanced around. Callon and Colt seemed to be acting normal; only Daniel kept watching me as they packed. He was so much smaller than his brothers, yet I knew he would be willing to protect me if needed. He could disappear and reappear just by looking where he wanted to go, an ability called “jumping.” It had often come in handy in the past.
I walked around Mandi’s side and was about to mount when Callon approached. I kept my eyes locked on the ground. It was too painful to see the emotion in my guardians’ eyes.
He didn’t say a word at first; he just stood there, waiting for me to look up. Eventually he lost patience and gently forced my head up. I knew what he was doing—it was time for my daily check-up.
“You don’t look so good,” he said as his brown curls fell in his eyes in a way I used to find endearing. “Are you feeling all right?”
I sighed. “How many times do I have to tell all of you? I’m fine.” It didn’t matter that I hadn’t actually said the words to Callon yet. I had told Daniel not to worry about me, and that was good enough.
Callon didn’t release his hold. He was searching for answers, but I avoided his gaze.
“Will you tell me if you don’t feel well enough to continue?”
“Yes,” I replied, knowing full well I wouldn’t. I’d never tell them. I didn’t need his concern—their concern. They would only smother me, and I didn’t want smothering—I wanted to be alone.
He withdrew his hand, and I turned to mount. He lifted me with little effort. Colt was even stronger, able to toss me around like a sack of feathers. I wasn’t that small, about five foot five, and though I’d lost some weight recently—down to one hundred and ten from one-twenty—I was by no means easy to carry.
It was quiet as we departed. I didn’t even hear the birds singing. Callon rode closer and reached into his pack. He withdrew a granola bar and handed it to me.
“You need to eat something.” He was using his “he who must be obeyed” voice. “I also want you to drink more today. We still have a two-day ride back to the truck.”
I nodded, taking the bar and unwrapping it slowly. I wasn’t hungry, but I knew Callon was right. Callon rode closer than yesterday, glancing in my direction more often. For a brief moment, the pain in my shoulder blade returned. I fought down the urge to cry out, telling myself it wasn’t as bad as the pain had been before. I managed not to give anything away except a slight hitch in my breathing.
It was enough for Daniel to notice, though, and his head whipped around. His eyes were full of concern. I realized he’d heard my shallow gasp. My teeth clenched. He was going to give me away! Daniel’s gaze locked on me for a second, but he turned around. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Callon and Colt staring harshly at him. They were drilling Daniel telepathically. Then a stray thought hit me. Callon was the leader of the Consilador clan—their clan. Did that mean he had full power over Daniel? Would he force the truth out of him?
I didn’t have to worry. As the day wore on, nothing more was said. We rode in silence. The sunlight was trickling through the treetops, and a warm wind caused the tall pines to sway. I pulled my long-sleeved shirt off and tied it to my waist. Raising my arms, I braided my wavy hair at the nap of my neck. It kept the long wisps from tickling my cheeks.
I was beginning to recognize my surroundings as early evening fell. This was the same location we had stopped the second night on our trip in, the same place where the Ghosters—the lights—had tried to take me. The lights I had seen in the cathedral, the lights Callon refused to tell me about…and the lights that had come between me and Colt, driving us apart.
I shook my head. If I’d known there were beings who could separate themselves from their bodies in the form of lights…if I’d known they could steal my soul…I wouldn’t have looked. If they had explained to me, I would’ve kept my eyes closed. I would’ve held on to Colt, and they wouldn’t have had to shout at me because I was so taken in by their beauty that I was almost ripped away.
My emotions bubbled to the surface as we passed a familiar outcrop of trees. Beyond them lay the waterfalls where I first realized I loved Colt. How ironic that with both the cave and waterfalls, he’d shown his heart to me. And both times, circumstances had changed so swiftly. It was as if fate were toying with me. She allowed me to get close enough to knowing real love before she ripped it away—leaving me bleeding and broken.
We stopped to camp for the night, and a single tear streamed down my cheek. I didn’t want to be here, and I didn’t want to remember those feelings. I knew Callon hadn’t chosen this site to cause me misery, but I was finding it hard to ignore the ache in my chest.
As I dismounted, the pain in my shoulder blade came to life. I stumbled, locking my fingers into Mandi’s mane to steady myself.
Daniel jumped to my side, his blue eyes full of concern. I flashed him a dark look.
“I’m fine,” I practically snarled.
He didn’t look convinced. I sought out Colt and Callon; they hadn’t noticed anything.
“Not a word, Daniel,” I hissed.
Daniel simply smiled sadly before he disappeared.
Chapter 2
I stayed close to Mandi as the trio prepared camp. Daniel quickly set up the tent, and Colt went in search of firewood. The distant cracking told me he was splitting wood. Callon tended to the horses, letting them feed in the meadow nearby. I removed Mandi’s tack. It was a good distraction for me and I could tell she was glad to be free. Her ears twitched as she stopped grazing to look at me. Both she and I knew something wasn’t quite right; we just didn’t know what.
Callon was standing next to the tent, waiting for me. Reluctantly, I walked over; my pack was inside the doorway. Callon’s fingers grasped mine, and I looked up.
“I know this isn’t what you want to do right now, but if you change, I’ll take you to the falls to clean up.” I shrugged off his hand, then went inside and zipped the tent closed.
Despite the way he had phrased the request, he really hadn’t given me a choice. I was going to the falls whether I wanted to or not. I knelt and dug through the pack for my swimsuit, shorts and shirt. Callon was waiting with a towel in hand when I stepped out of the tent. I kept my gaze down as I followed after him. I felt Colt’s eyes on my back and wondered if he felt the same misery. I took a shaky breath and kept walking.
The walk seemed much shorter this time, maybe because I was in such deep thought. I remembered how the butterflies churned in my stomach as I’d followed behind Colt. How he’d been so gentle, so loving. How he’d carried me to the falls, and how I knew he was different than anyone else I’d ever met. We stopped at the water’s edge, and the sound was almost overwhelming. It wasn’t due to the volume; it was due to the memories. Memories rushed forward, wanting to take over, and I had to fight them back down.
I removed my clothes and shoes, then walked forward into the cold water. As I glanced back, I saw Callon perched on a boulder. I grasped the small soap bottle tightly in my hand and dove under. I swam out away from the falls.
The iciness engulfed me, and a chill ran through my body. I saturated my hair with the shampoo as I unbraided it; making sure I was facing away from Callon. I stared out across the river before me. I was in a quiet pool, a few feet from where the current could pull me out. Would it be a bad thing to let it sweep away my memories?
I tucked the bottle in my suit bottom and ducked under to rinse my hair. When I came to the surface, I found I had twisted and was facing the falls again. The cascading water wasn’t soothing—it caused too many feelings to bubble up. I saw the rock where Colt and I had sat, where we had kissed. Where I’d discovered deep down that I loved him as he loved me…
Tears welled in my eyes, and the unbearable ache began to beat a rhythm I couldn’t st
op. I pushed myself under; I wanted the freezing water to make me forget. I wanted it to numb my feelings, deaden my heart, and frost my pain. I pushed myself further down and just floated in the murky, silent solitude.
I stayed there as long as I could, forcing myself to stay under until I thought my lungs would burst. I released one last air bubble from my mouth and swam to the surface, gasping as I came out.
A hand latched on to my arm, and I jumped. I thought I was alone.
“Cheyenne!” Callon’s eyes were wide with panic. “Are you okay?”
I yanked my arm away, splashing his face with water.
“I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” Callon wasn’t satisfied with my answer. He reached forward again and drew me closer.
“But how did you do that?”
I stared at him blankly.
“Do what?”
“Stay under for so long?”
Huh? What was he talking about?
“I wasn’t under for that long,” I said, irritated. Why did he have to be so overprotective?
“Yes, you were,” Callon said. “Why do you think I’m here in the water with you?”
I frowned.
“You overreacted. That’s why,” I spat. “Treating me like some helpless child…”
“You were under the water for more than seven minutes,” Callon said. “I thought the current caught you and took you downstream. After four minutes, I began searching. When I saw your air bubble, I came for you.”
“Well, I appreciate your concern, but you didn’t need to worried.” I tried to pull my arm away again. “Can you please let go? I can swim on my own.”
Callon’s eyes narrowed, and he wrapped his arm around my waist. He pulled us to shore. I wanted to struggle and make it more difficult, but it was pointless. I wouldn’t have won.
Callon didn’t release his hold as we came to the bank. Still holding me with one arm, he picked up the towel and set me down on a large boulder. He wrapped the towel around my shoulders and began to rub me dry.
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” he asked calmly.
I was still confused. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“How could you stay under for so long? That isn’t normal.”
Callon crouched down and dried my legs.
“I don’t know,” I said, trying to ignore the warmth of his fingers. “I was upset about being here, the whole situation. I wanted to forget, distract myself, so I held my breath until my lungs hurt.”
Callon snatched the towel away roughly and stood up.
“Get your shoes on.”
I didn’t move. He was in a bad mood, but why? I hadn’t done anything wrong. Slowly, I crept away from the boulder and pulled my boots on. I drew my hair to the side and began to wring the water out. Callon slinked around me, and pressed just above my shoulder blade. I flinched. He ran his rough fingers down the length of the wounds. I remained still.
“Does this hurt?” His voice had softened again.
“No. I’m fine.” I stepped away and grabbed my shirt from the ground, pulling it over my head. I hated myself for still wanting his touch.
“So that’s what Daniel wouldn’t tell me. I saw him glance back, and you scowled.” Callon sighed. “It hurts, and you didn’t want me to know. Why?”
I bent again and put my shorts on.
“I don’t need your sympathy.”
He gripped my shoulders and slowly turned me around to face him. He took my chin in his hand, forcing me to look at him. His hair was wet, which made it curl.
“Cheyenne,” Callon said. “I want to help you. Why won’t you let me?”
“I can handle the physical pain.” I inhaled. “It’s the heartache I can’t stand.”
Callon stepped closer and raised his other hand to my neck, holding me firmly in place.
“I’m sorry we caused you such heartache. I’m the one to blame; I shouldn’t have allowed this to go on for so long. I’ll make this right. Just give me time.” His lips hovered above mine.
Tears formed in my eyes and my voice cracked as I answered, “No, I’ve had enough. I can’t handle you tearing my heart to pieces again. Just let me go.”
Callon’s face softened.
“I can’t. Don’t you see? We’re bound together eternally, and nothing can change that.” He caressed my cheek. “I won’t push you. I’ll give you time to heal, but I can’t let you leave. You’re stuck with the three of us, and we’ll do everything in our power to protect you. You have a destiny to fulfill, and we’re a part of it.”
“I didn’t choose this!” I snapped. “It’s all being forced upon me. I don’t know who I am—I don’t want any of this!”
“Life’s not always about what we want, Cheyenne. Sometimes it’s about what we can offer. Sometimes we have to be self-sacrificing for the good of others. One day you’ll understand.”
My tears were flowing freely now. I lowered my head as Callon drew me into his embrace. His chin brushed my hair as he rubbed my back, like he had after my accident. When would all this heartache end? I’d already lost so much, carried so much on my lonely shoulders. Any happiness, any joy I had was short-lived and soon ripped from my grasp. What did I have to do to make it last?
I didn’t move from his arms for a long time. I was exhausted both mentally and physically. I hated the feelings I had for them—for Callon. The way his touch sent a current up and down my spine. I had to resist. I had to fight. Otherwise I’d never leave. I had to keep my distance.
A sudden breeze caused me to shiver. Callon pulled away, his hazel eyes filled with empathy.
“Come on, sweetheart. We need to get you by the fire to warm up.” He took hold of my hand, and we headed back to camp.
The day grew darker. By the time we returned, a large fire was roaring. Callon must have forewarned Colt and Daniel that I was cold. I kept my gaze down as I headed straight for the tent. I was trying to hide the fact I’d been crying, although knowing they gossiped worse than old women, I was sure Colt already knew. I changed and contemplated curling up on the blanket, but I could see Callon’s shadow in the doorway. If I didn’t come out, he’d come in. Reluctantly I stepped out.
I stared at the fire and realized I had few options of where I could go. Callon directed me to sit between him and Colt—their presence around me mimicked the prison around my heart. I pulled my legs into my chest, wrapped my arms around my knees and stared at the flames. They were watching me. All three wanted to make things right, but it was too late. They’d betrayed me, and I was never going to forgive them. I lay my head on my knees, closing my eyes in hopes of maintaining some sort of composure.
Callon departed briefly and then returned. He rested his hand on my shoulder. “You need to eat. You already refused lunch. You can’t go for too much longer.” I didn’t respond. I wasn’t hungry, nor did I really care. His grip tightened. “Cheyenne, if you don’t eat and drink, it will hurt you later. I need you to keep hydrated. We need you to stay strong.”
As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I knew he was right. I did need my strength. I didn’t know when my opportunity to leave would come, but I needed to be ready. Slowly, I sat up and took the food and water. Callon was clearly distressed; they all were. I ate and drank everything he gave me. When I finished, I went to the tent and curled up on the blanket to sleep. My body trembled in the cold, as I lay still, waiting for dawn to come. I was too afraid to close my eyes. I didn’t want to have the same dream—I didn’t want to see them die. I was so angry with them, yet I couldn’t turn them away. I had no one else, and that’s what frightened me the most…I didn’t want to be alone. I listened to the fire crackling, knew they were watching, but eventually my tiredness won out, and I drifted off.
Dawn broke, and I forced my weary lids open. Another day and a half, and we would be almost home. It was the brothers’ home, not mine. I’d just be grateful for a warm bed, a shower and a door to close them out.
I lay silently, star
ing at the tent walls, contemplating my life and the mess it had become. It was hard to believe that just a mere forty-eight hours ago, I’d wanted nothing more than to stay in Colt’s strong arms as he showed me the beauty inside that cave. Now, I couldn’t be around him—or near Callon—without my heart tearing in two.
I rolled over and glanced out of the tent. They were still sitting around the fire. Colt’s gaze was filled with turmoil as he looked at me. His jaw was tight, muscles tensed. He said he would always be there for me—now he couldn’t. His promise had been broken because of an older vow that tied me to another; the man who’d killed my parents, Marcus.
Callon, too, had his own part to play in the equation. Quietly sitting on the sidelines, letting Colt trick me into believing we could be together, before revealing that I was promised to him as well. Another obligation that dragged on my heart, forcing me to make a choice I didn’t want. How could they have done this to me?
Sighing, I sat up and once again slowly zipped the tent closed. The daylight was too bright, and my head was beginning to throb. Digging through my pack, I searched for some pain medication—anything to help ease the pressure. This wasn’t like the headaches I’d had in the past. It was normal—well, as normal as normal could be for me. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any painkillers. I’d have to ask Callon for something. Already my dread was mounting, knowing he would pester me with endless questions. I grabbed my toothbrush and slid my boots on, unzipped the tent and stepped out.
The morning air was cool, and the fire was barely flickering. I didn’t look up, but I knew Colt’s attention was locked on me as I approached Callon, half-guessing what his response would be.
“Callon, do you have any aspirin? I have a headache.”
Immediately Callon leapt up so fast that I staggered back to prevent us colliding. My foot caught on a loose rock, and I fell to the ground. Colt and Daniel hovered over me, anxiety ridden.
“Where are you hurting, Cheyenne?” Callon’s hands were at my temples.
I scowled, pushing myself back to my feet.
“It’s just a normal headache. Quit panicking! I need some aspirin or something. I don’t want it to get any worse.” Callon’s fingers latched around my arms. I tried to tug myself free, but he wouldn’t let go. “Oh, for crying out loud! I’m not lying! The other headaches come on real fast. This is a slow-building one—it’s different.” I sighed. “I know the difference between the two. Believe me, I’ll tell you if one of the bad ones come again.”